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It didn’t seem possible at the time.  It seemed completely and utterly IMPOSSIBLE, actually.  Gary and I both knew we had no extra money or savings, and we had dreams for our future that didn’t involve having a baby at 20.  This was not our dream.  It was not our plan.  So we went online and searched information on abortion procedures.  We found Hope First, and they offered education on pregnancy options.  So I made an appointment.

When we showed up, even though I was beginning to feel unsure about having an abortion, I knew Gary was still carrying the weight of the financial burden that would come if we chose to parent.  He seemed so sure that it would be too hard and that we weren’t ready.  And I couldn’t say that he was wrong.  A nice woman showed us back to a client room where we sat down and waited.  I expected her to say something first, but instead she asked me how I was doing.

How WAS I doing? On the one hand, I felt some excitement as the possibility of this baby had sunk in a bit.  On the other hand, I had no idea how we would make it work.  As we talked, Gary reiterated to her how we were too young and unprepared, and I agreed.  We left after taking some materials on our options, and went home to talk and make a decision.

Little did I know that our decision on whether or not to continue the pregnancy would only be the beginning of our journey.  Gary and I chose to parent our little girl, and we worked with the pregnancy center to take classes on pregnancy, parenting, and life skills to better equip us on all fronts to welcome our new baby.  The decision on that day felt so heavy, but now as I look at my baby, I have such a peace and calm.

During my pregnancy, we found out that the baby had spina bifida which is a neural tube defect that affects the spinal cord (Mayo Clinic, 2014). But this girl, my baby girl, is a fighter like her mama.  She was born last month, and she had a successful surgery to correct the defect in her spine.  We cannot imagine our life without her in it, and when I see the joy she brings to Gary, I realize that my heart has never felt so full!

Sources:

Spina bifida. (2014, August 27). Retrieved June 07, 2017, from http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/spina-bifida/basics/definition/CON-20035356

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