I know, what is that title about?? I learned some very interesting info on sex this week. I have always heard that sex bonds people together and it does, but there is actually a science behind it. When you are involved in sexual activity, powerful hormones are released in you brain. These hormones produce lasting bonds between two people. The strongest bonding neurohormones are oxytocin and vasopressin.
Oxytocin is released during childbirth and nursing, that causes the mother to bond with her infant. When it is released during sex it acts as an emotional super glue between you and your partner. Both men and women have oxytocin and release it during sex, but women are more affected by oxytocin. Men are more affected by vasopressin, this helps a man bond to his partner and instills a need to protect his partner and children.
OK here is where the duct tape comes in, these two hormones can be compared to duct-taping you and your partner’s arms together. If you break up, you rip the duct-tape off, and stick that same duck tape to your new partner. After you do this a few times there is particles of skin and hair on the duct-tape reducing the stickiness. The same is true of sex, oxytocin is damaged by stress hormones that release during a break-up. Just like the skin and hair that gets left behind reducing the stickiness, so do previous sexual experiences reduce the ability to bond correctly. The good news, oxytocin levels can return to normal. You will have to refrain from having sex, if you just broke up give yourself a year or two to build it back up before jumping into a new relationship. Commit to saving yourself for marriage is the best way to enjoy this benefit of sex.
Imagine if once you put the duct tape on it never got removed. The tape would begin to feel like a part of your arm and the adhesion would be strong. When a married couple has saved themselves for each other and been faithful during marriage, oxytocin and vasopressin increase the biological bond between the husband and wife.
Maybe you have already had sex and you wish you had waited. Make a commitment today to wait, you can still have a wonderful sex life inside marriage. If you have not yet been involved in sexual activity please consider this in your decision. I know it’s not easy to go against what seems so normal, but the benefits are worth it.
Sources The Female Brain.2006. Nature. Oct.7,1993. Progress in Brain Research.1998. Keroak, Eric, M.D. “Oxytocin: Is This Nano-Peptide a Chemical Type of Human Super Glue?” 2006. Ibid.